Muab daim ntawv no
Tau qhov twg los: Alima, http://iamalima.org/men-are-the-protectors-of-women/
"It seems like your brothers have you under their thumb!?"
"Erm… I’m not sure what you mean, but okay…"
I replied, confused at the sister’s statement. (Everyone is thinking “what did she just say?!") I must be honest at that time, I rather innocently let it go (and it’s not even a bad thing), however such statements resonate when you’re reminded by something… (I’ll explain in the end how it applies to da’ees).
This conversation came back when I studied the tafseer of this Ayat…
“Men are in charge () of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard…” Surah Nisaa, Ayat 34
Allah ‘azza wa jal is telling us that men are the caretakers of women, not the dictators…
So you ask yourself – what does it mean by the Qawwam? According to Bernard Shaw it means to accomplish something, to preserve, to support, take care of – The image of the Muslim man is to support, mus rau take care of the woman. This supporter is the one who is the maintainer of the family.
li no, it’s not a privilege, it’s a responsibility. It’s about doing work.
And the righteous women are devoutly obedient, helping them in their vision, in their dreams, in assisting each other to worship Allah jalla wa ‘alaa.
This is misused by Tej Txiv neej, but it’s so beautiful as it demonstrates that men have qualities women lack and women have qualities men lack. So Allah has made them to compliment each other so they can work together to be successful.
Women are the counterparts of men – Sab xis, worthy, virtuous – One who appreciates the qualities of the qawwam and is right for him.
The qawwam is making possible for this woman to sustain her sensitivity to Allah, he assists her, he is her partner and committed helper – they are the ones who will raise a family and form a cornerstone family = – who will be of those who take this Ummah to another level inshaAllah.
This is what the ideal Man should be! (By the way, I’m not saying this… This is Allah ‘azza wa jal)! He is telling us that Men do have a degree over women when it comes to leading the family, and generally in the Ummah. (Not that sisters can’t make an impact, they can, they do and they did alhamdulillah).
1That Allah has given certain responsibilities to brothers that sisters don’t have. It’s about us all balancing our time out (you have to make time for this) and ensuring you do something for this Ummah, as it really is a responsibility upon us all…
2The Muslim community lacks real leadership and no-one is really taking the responsibility). Meaning; doing it for the sake of Allah with IHSAAN with an aim to make an IMPACT! Going beyond just our own departmental work AND working together… How beautiful would it be if we were driving forward amazing projects?
3He also reminds the men to not take advantage of the women; don’t let their zeal stop you from stepping forward. It’s supposed to be a race; it’s not about off loading to the other…
4At times sisters have an issue with brothers taking too much control and brothers have an issue with sisters taking control, this is not the Qur’anic attitude, rather it’s about SUPPORTING them in the qualities we lack and them SUPPORTING us in ours and fulfilling the duties Allah has bestowed upon us.
5Allah has created men as the protectors and women as their committed helpers. In the coming Ayat, Nws jalla wa ‘alaa tells us, don’t have hasad (envy) over each other. We need everyone in this da’wah to step up, brothers and sisters and compliment each other!
6He… The Mighty, Most Wise reminds the women, that if you’re really righteous you will support them, you will help them in ATTAINING JANNAH! You will be there for them (to take the da’wah forward).
This is just to remind us that we are both unique and if we focused on what we were both good at, we’d be awesome!
Tau qhov twg los: Alima, http://iamalima.org/men-are-the-protectors-of-women/
I have always believed this…even before embracing Islam (alhamdulillah!)
Submission is NOT a dirty word…and I thank you for your wise words and
for those wise words of Allah from which yours came.
Good article, however I do not see what exactly men lack that women have. I howler feel that a women should be able to support herself first not to anger the man, but today what man truly knows the difference between dictating and supporting? Girls have to be strong first because we are naturally weak as stated onthe article ” women are counter parts to men”. Men are made strong and do not need women as much as women need men.
This is not true. Poj niam, and men both need eachother greatly. Women and men both have weaknesses. It is important to note that they are different weaknesses, and that men do not always show them as much as women. We women tend to wear our hearts on our shoulders, but just because men do not, does not mean they do not have a heart. Allah has given us all tasks that we must be strong for, and protectors for us in our areas where we are weak. This is the beauty of Allah that he has accounted for all our strengths and weaknesses. Just because Men are responsible for our weaknesses, does not mean we can be lazy and neglect our responsibilities, and the same goes for men.
dear sister,
we are physically weak – maybe we can’t lift a stone etc., but we have the strengh to give birth! – therefore men need women more than women men.
1. they need women as a mother – and here I want you to remember that paradise lies at mothers feet!
2. they need women as a sister (if they have one)
3. they need women as a wife – a quote from the article: And the righteous women are devoutly obedient, helping them in their vision, in their dreams, in assisting each other to worship Allah jalla wa ‘alaa. …so men need women-help to achieve their goals incl. jannah 🙂
جزاك الله خير
Sister Huriya, Please don’t be taken away. However much you may want to indulge you cannot say men need women more than women need men or vice versa.
The fact that Allah has created a pair, for one to complement the other, negates that assertion. The bottomline, tab sis yog ho, is that men are a degree above women, plain and simple. And Allah it is, who said so. He created man first before He created woman, and He created her from man’s rib. He always chose His messengers exclusively from among men also.
Pardon me if I sound sexist, I’m not! I just can’t bear to see women who want to compete with men as if it’s a contest. The only thing worth competing for is Allah’s favour and even that contest is not ‘man versus woman’, it’s ‘one versus everyone else’!
Let’s set our priorities straight, wassalam.
Salaam,
How about; we both need each other? And we do, in order to live in harmony in our communities. One of the main reasons these discussions arise is because we strayed away from the correct sunnah and adhab of how we treat each other, and more importantly, the end result – which is the pleasure of Allah (luam dej) and a house in Jannah.
On that note, when oppression occurs we should all stand together and step up to correct it, be it to a man and woman and yes we all have priorities and each has a status of it’s own. Tiam sis, Txoj cai no los yog tus haum rau tej yam uas tsis tau siv raws li ib tug carrot lo rau sib. Ob leeg genders ua nws btw, theej, Lawv yuav tsum tau siv raws li reminders, Yuav kom peb nco ntsoov qhia peb lub hom phiaj ntawm lub hom phiaj ntau dua — Tus pleasure ntawm Allah (luam dej).
Kuv kawg rau, Nws tseem tsis tau txog complementing, theej, Nws yog hais txog kev txhawb lwm tus nyob rau hauv lawv aims hauv lub neej thiab lawv tej, Qhov no yog realistic thiab xyaum, Es cia li theoretical.
Thiab Allah (luam dej) paub zoo tshaj plaws.
Salam alaikum, Kuv pom zoo nrog Alima. Kuv to taub yog tias peb yeej yuav sib npaug zos nyob rau hauv peb worship thiab txoj kev ntseeg ntawm Islam. Niether ib yog txawm tsawg; Tsis yog cais qhov twg lub worship ntawm Allah (luam dej) txhawj xeeb. Muaj, Peb yuav txawv beings, Txawm peb tau txais tej koob hmoov zoo li cas los, peb yeej tau txais koob hmoov nplua mias
thiab recognition ntawm Allah (luam dej) Rau peb deeds thiab li cas peb ua cim yog percieved los ntawm NWS Allah. We all support one another for the Sake of Allah (luam dej).
Walaikum Salam Fatima
in a family unit, there are many roles
many stated on this post and many not.
Some of these roles will be forfilled by husband
Some of these roles will be forfilled by the wife
Some of these roles will be forfilled by the children
who does what, allah has given us inteligence to work out so please try and use it.
some comments on this page are frankly unislamic by vertue.