Ndoa kwa Ndugu au Watu Wasio Ndugu Wanaopendelea?

One of my relatives has come to me for the purpose of marriage but I heard to marry from non-relatives is preferred for the sake of the future of the children and other reasons. What is your opinion on this matter?

Jibu: The principle has been stated by a number of scholars. It points to the fact that genetics and heredity has an effect. There is no doubt that genetics has an effect on the physical and psychological make-up of a person.

This is shown in the hadith where a man came to the Messenger of Allah (swallallahu alayhi wasallam) na kusema, “My wife has given birth to a black child.” (He was opposing that child as all of his ascendants were of light skin).

Mtume wa Mwenyezi Mungu (swallallahu alayhi wasallam) nilimwambia, “Do you own camels?” Alisema, “Ndiyo.” Mtume (swallallahu alayhi wasallam) sema, “What colour are they?” Alisema, “Red.” Mtume (swallallahu alayhi wasallam) asked him, “Is there a dusky one among them ?” Alisema, “Ndiyo.” Mtume (swallallahu alayhi wasallam) kisha akasema , “How has that come about?” The man replied , “It is perhaps due to the strain to which it has reverted.” Hivyo Mtume (swallallahu alayhi wasallam) nilimwambia, “Perhaps that son of yours is due to the strain to which it is reverted.” [1]

This is evidence that genetics does have an effect and there is no doubt about it. Hata hivyo, Mtume (swallallahu alayhi wasallam) pia alisema,

“A women is married for [any of] four reasons: kwa utajiri wake, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her religion. So try to marry one who is religious, may your hands be smeared with dust.” [2]

Kwa hiyo, the most important matter in proposing to a women is her piety. The more religious she is and the more beautiful she is then the better she is, regardless if she be a close relative or distant [non-] relative.

The religious women will protect the man’s wealth, watoto, and house. Beauty fulfils his needs and lowers his gaze and he will not look to others. Na Mwenyezi Mungu ndiye Mjuzi zaidi.

[1] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

[2] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

Sheikh Muhammad bin Swaalih al-`Uthaymiyn

Fatawa za Kiislamu kuhusu Wanawake – Darussalam Pg.187-188.