The Rights and Responsibilities of a Spouse

The rights and responsibilities of a spouse in Islam are numerous, and are designed by Allah SWT to ensure love and mercy stays within a marriage. So here are some general rights and responsibilities that apply to both the husband and wife.

1) Treat each other with kindness:

Why do marriages fail? One of the reasons is that we have lost the art of being kind and mindful in our speech and our actions. This is especially true of arguments that happen – very often men and women are very UNKIND with their words or their behaviour.

In day to day actions, if you are not kind with each other, how do you expect love to grow?

Te parau nei te mau taata papa'i ve'a e,, “… and consort with them in kindness.” (An-Nisa’: 19)

2) To be respectful to one another:

The Prophet SAW was always respectful to EVERYONE around him and was especially mindful of his wives. The same was true for his wives who also showed the best of character towards one another and to the Prophet SAW.

Also be aware that respect nurtures respect – if you are disrespectful to one another, you are not creating love and mercy, you are creating bitterness and resentment!

3) To look after one another through good times and bad:

There are many incidences in the Prophet SAW’s life where he looked after his wives through any illness and they did for him likewise. From the sahabas as well, we have much to learn about being mindful of one another.

Does Allah SWT not say:

“And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” [Noble Quran 30:21]

4) To maintain yourself for each other:

Why wait until a special occasion takes place to dress up? You should do this for one another as was stated by one of the companions of the Prophet SAW:

Ibn Abbaas (RA) te na ô ra: ‘I love to beautify myself for my wife, as I love her to beautify herself for me.’

5) To hide each other’s faults!

Believe it or not, one of the most hated of actions is when you divulge secrets of your spouse to others! Allah is displeased with someone who does this as you are meant to be garments for one another…

“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.” [Noble Quran 2:187]

This means to conceal your spouse’s faults in front of others or you leave them open to ridicule!

There are of course many other ways in which you can be better for one another, but insha’Allah these are basic guidelines that all married couples should follow to have a happier home.

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