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Ngu Umtshato osulungekileyo - UTshazimpuzi, 17th 2019

Umthombo: https://www://www.hautehijab.com/blogs/hijab-fashion/how-to-prevent-burnout-in-your-marriage

Yiba nomfanekiso woku: umyeni wakho ubuya emsebenzini emva kosuku olude eofisini. Usekhitshini ugqibezela isidlo sangokuhlwa ngelixa umntwana wakho oselula ezama ukuzigcina onwabile kwaye ephaphile kuba enqabile ukulala kwangoko ngaloo mini.. Uphuma ekudlaleni phakathi kweenyawo zakho njengoko unqunqa iminqathe, ukuzimela ezikhabhathini, ukuloba yonke imixholo ye-pantry osanda kuyicwangcisa, ukulahla iithoyi zakhe kuwo wonke umgangatho wegumbi lokuhlala, emva koko urhubuluza ubuyele apho ume khona, ukubambelela kwimilenze yakho kunye nokuncwina ukuba ubanjwe.

Ekugqibeleni uyaqonda ukuba umyeni wakho usekhaya, kwaye ungena ekhitshini ukuze akuncamise. Umnika ngokukhawuleza emlonyeni, phosa umntwana ezingalweni zakhe, kwaye ukhawuleze ubuyela ekwenzeni isidlo.

Emveni kwesidlo sangokuhlwa, kulandele ukuxambulisana kwabantwana ngexesha lokulala, intombi yakho ekugqibeleni ilele. Nalala esofeni nobabini, ukuzama ukubakho kwaye ubuze malunga neentsuku zomnye nomnye, kodwa ekugqibeleni ulala ngenxa yokudinwa okumsulwa.

Ivakala iqhelekile?

Ngumjikelo ongathandekiyo uninzi lwethu olufumana lula ukuwela kuwo, kwaye usenokungazi ukuba uqhawuka njani. Eyona nto imbi kakhulu, xa imihla ngemihla ixakeke kakhulu ukuba ungahoya iqabane lakho njengoko ubuqhele ukwenza, feelings of under-appreciation can start to emerge and cast resentment onto things. Inokuqala ukubonakala ngathi nihlala nixambulisana ngezinto ezifanayo, icala ngalinye lithethelela ukuma kwalo, kodwa ungaqondi ukuba omnye umntu uvela phi - de ekugqibeleni izinto zifike entloko kwaye ugqibe kwelokuba uhlale phantsi uthethe malunga nokuba kuqhubeka ntoni..

Ndakhe ndathetha ngayounyaka wokuqala womtshato kwaye ngamanye amaxesha inokukuchaphazela njani wena neqabane lakho, kodwa xa sele unabantwana okanye imisebenzi pick up, kwaye uxanduva nemisebenzi yasekhaya iyaphindaphindeka, ingcambu yengxaki inokutshintsha. Imiba efana nale ayisekho ngabantu ababini abazama ukufunda ukuphila kunye; ziphuma ekudinweni okucocekileyo. Xa iqabane ngalinye loluliwe libhityile, banokuziva ngathi omnye akasoloko eyixabisa into ayinikelayo.

Ngokucacileyo, imeko yobomi bomntu ngamnye yahlukile - iinkcukacha zinokwahluka kwaye ayizizo zonke iingxaki ezisebenza kuye wonke umntu. Kodwa ndingathanda ukwabelana nawe ngezinye zezinto endiye ndazifunda ezinokunceda ekuthinteleni iimvakalelo zokungawuxabisi emtshatweni., kwaye uwagcine angajiki abe kukudinwa ngokupheleleyo.

1. Nobabini kufuneka nithethe! Unxibelelwano lungundoqo, nokuba ngunyaka wakho wokuqala womtshato okanye ngoweshumi, nokuba ithini na imeko yobomi bakho kunye noxanduva. Wena neqabane lakho nifanele nizive nikhuselekile xa ninxibelelana ukuze niphephe iingxabano ezihlala zihleli.

Kanye xa nithetha nobabini, unokukhawuleza uqonde ukuba nobabini niziva izinto ezifanayo. Umyeni wakho usenokuba uziva engaxabisekanga ngenxa yokuba emva kosuku olude emsebenzini, awuthathanga nomzuzu ukumbamba ngokusuka entliziyweni kwaye wamanga. Unokuziva ngathi imizamo yakhe ayibonwa xa ezisa ibha yakho yetshokolethi oyithandayo emva kokuthatha igrosari., okanye uqinisekise ukuba ulala kwangethuba kwaye uvuke ube nekhitshi elicocekileyo, kodwa uxakeke kakhulu ukuba ungaqaphela kuba ngalo lonke ixesha uziva ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba uthatha kangakanani, kusoloko kukho ubugxwayiba ekoneni.

2. Funda iilwimi zothando zomnye nomnye. Kumava am, ukufunda ngeendlela umyeni wam kunye nam ngokwendalo esinika kwaye samkele uthando kuye kwaba ngundoqo. Ukuba awuqhelanga, ezi ziquka:

amazwi esiqinisekiso
ukufumana izipho
izenzo zenkonzo
ixesha elibalulekile
ukubamba ngokomzimba

Kuqhelekile ukuba umntu abe neelwimi ezininzi zothando, kuba ngokwemvelo sibonakalisa uthando ngeendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo. Umzekelo, Iilwimi zam zothando zizenzo zenkonzo, ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye nokufumana izipho. Ndiziva ndonwabile kwaye ndixatyiswa xa umyeni wam elungisa ibhedi kusasa, ukhupha inkunkuma ndingabuzanga, ucoca amagumbi okuhlambela, igobe kwaye ibeke indawo yokuhlamba impahla, ilayisha umatshini wokuhlamba izitya, utshayela indlu, igcwalisa itanki yam yegesi, uhlamba intombi yethu ekupheleni kosuku olude, kwaye wamlalisa. Ezi “zenzo zenkonzo” zindenza ndizive ngathi undikhathalele kwaye ufuna ukundiphumza kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla yasekhaya edla ngokundoyisa.. Ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye, njengaxa sisebenza kwiprojekthi yasekhaya kunye, okanye ukunika nokwamkela izipho, njengaxa emi ngakwivenkile yeti endiyithandayo xa sigoduka, indenza ndizive ndixatyiswa kakhulu, ethandwa kwaye ekhathalelwe.

Ukuqiniseka ukwenza izinto ozaziyo kuya kwenza iqabane lakho lizive lithandwa kakhulu kubaluleke kakhulu ukubaxelela indlela ozixabisa ngayo.. Olunye lweelwimi zothando lomyeni wam ngamazwi okuqinisekisa. Uyonwabela kakhulu amazwi akhuthazayo asuka kum, nokuba loo nto yeyamanyathelo amancinci azibekele wona okanye impumelelo enkulu. Uziva ethandwa kakhulu xa ndingaphandle kwaye ndibona ngabom umsebenzi wakhe onzima, ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwekhaya.

Ukukwazi ukukhomba iilwimi zothando zomnye kuhambe umgama omde kwindlela esinxibelelana ngayo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nenjongo malunga nabo kwaye uqinisekise ukuba "itanki zothando" zomnye nomnye ziyazaliswa. Kwakhona-ungaziva ngathi la manyathelo kufuneka abe zizijekulo ezigqithisileyo okanye izipho ezibiza kakhulu - yenza ubugcisa., gxila kwizinto ezincinci, ubone indlela amabinzana amancinane eelwimi zothando anokongeza ngayo ekuhambeni kwexesha kwimvakalelo yolwaneliseko noxabiso..

3. Thatha ixesha lakho lokutshaja kwakhona xa uyifuna. Yenzani umkhwa kuni nobabini nomyeni wakho ukuba nibe nosuku lwenu apho umntu abukele abantwana aze omnye aphume ayozenzela into.. Nokuba ngumsebenzi wangaphandle ubufuna ukuwuzama okanye into elula njengokuphuma uyokusela ikomityi yekofu nabanye abahlobo., okanye nokuhlala ekhaya ubukele imovie ngelixa iqabane lakho lithatha abantwana libasa epakini okanye likhuphe ice cream. Ukuba “nexesha lam” kuya kuhamba indlela ende eninxibelelana ngayo omnye nomnye.

Ukuba unabantwana, kubalulekile ukuba wena nomyeni wakho niziphe ixesha, njengokuba nobusuku benyanga benyanga. Ukuthatha ixesha lokuba wedwa kulungile, kodwa ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni nomntu oye wamthanda kubaluleke ngokufanayo. Yenza amalungiselelo notatomkhulu noomakhulu, okanye nabani na omthembileyo ngabantwana, kwaye wothuse umyeni wakho ngorhatya oluzaliswe lulonwabo. Sisenokuba kwimeko yokulindela ezi zijekulo zothando kwindoda ekubudlelwane, kodwa ndithembe – bayayithanda xa uthatha ulawulo locwangciso ngamaxesha athile.

4. Okona kubalulekileyo, khumbula ukuba niliqela. Akukho mntu usebenza “kakhulu” kunomnye. Akukho msebenzi womntu ulula okanye uphantsi koxinzelelo kunomnye. Umtshato ngumsebenzi weqela kwaye uya kuhlala efuna nobabini ukuba nifake 100% ukuze ikhule. Akukho nto ifana nomtshato ogqibeleleyo, nokuba kubonakala kunjalo ngaphandle. Isibini ngasinye sineziphene, kodwa kuxhomekeke kubo ukuba bafanele basebenzisane njani ukuze bomeleze umanyano lwabo.