Ukuzila EShaban

Ngu Umshado Omsulwa - Juni, 11th 2014

Ukukhala nokuklabalasa okungazelelwe kwavusa uZainab. Walala embhedeni wakhe, evale ubuso emcamelweni, ezama kanzima ukuvimba umsindo okhulayo ovela kwelinye igumbi.

Akuphelanga ngisho amahora amabili ekhala waze walala. Inhliziyo yakhe ethambile yaqala ukugubha esifubeni sakhe lapho ecabanga ukuthi yini ezolandela leli phethini. Bekuyinhlalayenza; ngemva kokuba uyise efika ekhaya, unina wayemthethisa, wayezomemeza, bese kuba kubi kakhulu kuze kube yena, ekubeni ingane endala, angangenelela, ekhala futhi encenga abazali bakhe ukuthi bayeke ukulwa, isizathu labo bantwana abancane ababengasoze basiqonda.

UZainab wayekhuleke kuAllah ngasese (subhanahu wata'ala) , izikhathi eziningi ukumbuyisela kuYe. Ngandlela-thile wazizwa enecala ngalokho okwakwenzeka phakathi kwabazali bakhe. Ngokuvamile, wezwa ukuthi ngisho uAllah (subhanahu wata'ala) wayengajabule naye ngaye du'as(ukunxusa) bezingamukelwa.

Ukuphela kwento ayeyifisa kwakuwukubona abazali bakhe bejabule futhi bendawonye. Noma nini babejabule, wayethemba ukuthi isikhathi sizoba yiqhwa ukuze agcine yonke ingxenye yakho, kodwa ngeshwa, izikhathi zenjabulo ngeke zihlale isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba ukungaboni ngaso linye kube ingxabano eshisayo eholela engxabanweni embi kakhulu..

Okwamlimaza kakhulu inhliziyo yikuthi abazali bakhe babambene bodwa bekhonona ngomunye kumbe abanye abantu behleba ngabazali bakhe bebe benganaki ubukhona bakhe njengoba eseyingane nje., okuthiwa ayinayo imizwa noma umuzwa wokuqonda. Kwamcasula lokhu, futhi waqala ukuqongelela inzondo namagqubu ngaphakathi kuye.

Ukwesaba nokukhathazeka kwakhe kwakhula njengoba ezwa izingxabano ezikhulayo ezivela kwelinye igumbi. "Ima! Ngicela ume!” Kumemeza uZainab engqondweni yakhe, eqinisa izandla ekhanda ekhanda ezwa sengathi lizoqhuma.

Naphezu kokuba egoqwe emgqonyeni ofudumele futhi othambile wezwa izinyawo zakhe zibanda. Izinyembezi zolaka, ukucasuka nokucindezeleka kwakugeleza ezinhlangothini zamehlo akhe kufiphala ebumnyameni ngenkathi elele lapho engenalutho lwegumbi lakhe enethemba lokuthi nokumemeza okuvela ngaphandle kuzoshabalala maduze..

Umsindo Ojwayelekile?

Ingabe lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile? Ngibe nawe, esemncane wayezizwa ngendlela uZainab ayezizwa ngayo? Noma okubi nakakhulu, kungenzeka yini ukuthi izingane zakho zibhekene nalokhu uZainab ayebhekene nakho?

Ngokwenhlekelele, isisulu esingenacala sempi enjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi siyingane, ongenalo iqhaza elibambekayo ekungqubuzaneni kwabantu abadala ngaphandle kokubuka ngokungenakusiza futhi abhujiswe.

Noma yiziphi Izaba?

Noma yiziphi izaba abazali bangase babe nazo ukuze bathethelele izingxabano zabo ezingapheli, ukuthukuthela noma ukucasuka okuvamile, kungaba ngomunye nomunye noma uqondiswe ezinganeni zabo ngenxa yokukhungatheka ebudlelwaneni bomuntu oyedwa, akwamukelekile neze futhi akuthetheleleki.

Njengoba kungabantu abadala, banikezwe umsebenzi wokukhulisa umuntu, futhi banesibopho ngakho-ke kufanele bakhumbule, hhayi kuphela ukukhuliswa ngokomzimba kwengane yabo, kodwa nokuthuthukiswa kwengqondo okuhlanganisa ukukhula ngokomoya nokunothisa ngokomzwelo kwalo muntu omncane.

Imiphumela!

Ingane ibona ukuziphatha okubi okungapheli, ukungabekezelelani, ukushintshana ngamagama ahlabayo, ukubhuqa, ukungathembani, ukuthinta okuhlaselayo, Impatho engathandeki kanye/noma ukungabi nandaba phakathi kwabazali bakhe cishe uzoba nobuntu obungalingani nobungenasici obunezinkinga eziningi okumele abhekane nazo., njenge:

· Ukuntuleka Kokukhula Kwenkolo: Izingane zomkhaya ophazamisekile azikhonzi neze inkolo ngaphandle kokuba othile eziqondise. Njengoba bengavamile ukubona abazali babo bephendukela kubo Rabb (Umondli) futhi ubekezele ngezikhathi zokucindezeleka, abakwazi ukuhlobana nalomqondo.

· Ukungabikho Kokuxhumana Okungokomoya: Lapho izingane zibona abazali bazo bezama ukuthola ukuthula ngezinye izindlela futhi bethembele kulezo zindlela ngaphandle kukaAllah (subhanahu wata'ala),zihlobene ngokuzenzakalelayo nokufuna ukuthula nokuncika ezindleleni nezindlela ngaphandle komthombo weqiniso ikhair (ubuhle), uMdali wabo.

· Ukulahlekelwa Ukuzethemba: Izingane ezinjalo zilahlekelwa ukuzethemba kwazo ngenxa yokuthi azinalo uhlobo lokusekelwa ngokomzwelo oludingekayo ukuze kuthuthukiswe ukuzazisa kwazo nobuntu bazo..

· Ukuzenyeza: Ukulahlekelwa isithunzi phakathi kwabazali noma indlela yokuziphatha esungulwe omunye wabazali kubangela ukungazethembi esimilweni sengane yabo., okuphumela ekuzizweni ungento yalutho.

· Ukungavikeleki: Lapho izingane zibona ukuphathwa kabi phakathi kwabazali bazo noma yinoma yimuphi umzali komunye zizizwa zingalondekile ngobuhlobo bazo nazo futhi ziyesaba ukuba isisulu ngokuqondile noma ngokungaqondile.. Baphinde bazizwe bekhathazekile ngabazali babo noma izingane zakubo futhi bazizwe bengenamandla.

· Ukukhathazeka: Ingane ebuka ukuphazamiseka kwasekhaya noma ngokomzwelo, ngomlomo noma ngokomzimba uhlale eqaphile, ukubukela nokulinda umcimbi olandelayo ukuthi wenzeke. Akazi ukuthi yini ezodala ukuhlukunyezwa ngakho-ke abazizwa bephephile.

· Ukuzingabaza: Lapho ingqondo ethambile yengane ingakwazi ukuchaza ukuthi kungani abazali bayo bengezwani, ngezinye izikhathi baqala ukuzisola; ukuthi ukube bebengenzanga kanjena ngabe ayizange iqale, noma uma bengakwazi ukuchaza isizathu sokulwa bahlala bengabaza ukwenzeka kwakho okubashiya bedidekile futhi bekhungathekile.. Umuzwa wokungabaza ubenza bazizwe belulazekile futhi benamahloni.

· Ukucasuka: Izingane ezibhekene nesiphithiphithi emndenini ziba nenzondo ngezingane zakubo noma omunye wabazali ezicabanga ukuthi nguyena obangele ingxabano. Bangase bathukuthele, abanolaka olufushane futhi abahlukumezayo njengabantu abadala ngokwabo.

· Ukucindezelwa: Izingane ezinezinkinga zasekhaya zihlala zigxile ekubhekaneni nokucindezeleka kwasekhaya. Kulindeleke ukuthi bagcine izingxabano emakhaya zibe yimfihlo. Ngenxa yalokho, lokhu kungabaguqula babe izidalwa ezingabonakali nezicindezelwe.

· Ukwesatshiswa: Ngokuphambene nalokho, ngezinye izikhathi izingane ezibona omunye wabazali bazo (cishe umama wabo) ukuba yisisulu ekhaya, bafunde ukukhula babe abantu abasabisayo ngokwabo ukuze bathole indlela yabo ebudlelwaneni obuseduze ngoba izingane zinomkhuba wemvelo wokukhomba ngamandla.

· Ukulawula Ukuziphatha: Ukwazi amandla abo, izingane eziphuma emakhaya aphazamisekile zithambekele ekulawuleni nabashade nabo. Bakhuliswe ukuze bazizwe bekhathazekile ngobudlelwano ngakho-ke balangazelela ukuthatha izintambo ukuze balondoloze ubudlelwano ekuhlakazweni.. Banomuzwa wokuthi ukulawula kwabo kungasiza ukuyigcina injalo.

· Ukuba sengozini: Lezi zingane zizizwa zihlukanisiwe futhi zisengozini. Bafisa ukunakwa, ukuqinisekiswa kanye nenkampani. Njengoba bobabili abazali bedliwa ekusindeni kwabo, abatholakali neze ngokomzwelo enganeni. Ngakho-ke, ingane cishe iyofuna ukuncika ngokomzwelo kwenye indawo.

Lokhu okungenhla kuyizihibe ezimbalwa kweziningi ingane ephuma ekhaya elingahlelekile edlula kuzo. Umbuzo uthi, sifuna izingane zethu zizwe lokhu? Impendulo elindelekile kuwo wonke amacala ngethemba ukuthi ingucha.

Bese siyini, njengabazali, ukwenza ukubavimba ekuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo? Eseshilo lokhu, Angiqondile ukufaka isimo esiyingqayizivele, lapho umngane womshado enokuphazamiseka kwengqondo futhi omunye umngane womshado kulindeleke ukuba akubekezelele.

Ukukhuluma ngokweqiniso, bangaki bethu ababhekene nalesi simo esishiwo ngenhla lapho singenawo amandla okulawula ubudlelwano bethu obuhlukahlukene? Iqiniso, isizathu sangempela akukona ukuthi asikwazi ukugwema izimo ezilimaza kakhulu, kodwa ngokuvamile sikhetha ukungazivimbeli njengoba yonke ingxabano inomlando wokungalungi, izehlakalo ezingaxazululiwe ezilandela ngemuva kwayo zihambisana nokungezwani, izenzo zokungacunuli nokunganaki phakathi kwabazali.

Sengisho nje, singabantu abanobugovu abakhathazeke ngokuyinhloko ngokubhekelela izidingo zethu zomuntu siqu ezingokomzwelo nezingokwengqondo.. Ngenkathi sisengxabano, kuphakathi kokuthi sicwile ekuzidabukeleni nasekucindezelekeni noma sivaleleke phakathi kwempi yobugovu, ngakho-ke sishaya indiva izinhliziyo ezincane ekubeni zihlale zibuhlungu futhi zilimale.

Ukhathele ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, sikhungathekile futhi sikhathele ngenxa yokuhambisana nobuhlobo nomlingani wethu, asibanaki umthelela olimazayo wokunganaki kwethu komunye nomunye ongase ube nawo ebuntwini bengane yethu.

Nokho, kufanele sizikhumbuze ukuthi izingane zethu zithembele kithi ngazo zonke izindlela entweni ngayinye encane futhi siqaphele ubunzima nomthwalo wemfanelo wokuba umzali.. Asikwazi ukusiza ukusabela kwabalingani bethu kodwa esingakulawula isimo sethu sengqondo ngabo noma ngesimo esingemnandi noma okuhlangenwe nakho..

Ngokusobala, akulula njengalesi sitatimende futhi kudinga ukwelulekwa futhi mhlawumbe nochungechunge lwezihloko ukuze kungene ubunkimbinkimbi bobudlelwano kanye nalokho okwenziwa nokungafaneleki.. Noma kunjalo, okugxilwe kukho kulesi sihloko ukugqamisa izimo ezihlukumezayo izingane ezibhekana nobudlova basekhaya nemiphumela yako.

Ingane ifana nesigaxa senhlama ethambile futhi njengoba singayibumba ngendlela esifisa ngayo, lidlula kulokho esilenza lidlule kukho. Isigaxa senhlama, lapho iphathwa ngothando, ukunakekela nokuhlakanipha kungaba yinzuzo kuwe, kodwa uma iphathwa kabi futhi budedengu, kungase kube okuphambene.

Izingane zethu ziyi- ukwethemba (ukwethemba) evela kuAllah (subhanahu wata'ala). Bathunyelwe kithi ukuze sibakhulise ngothando, inhlonipho, ukunakekelwa nokukhathazeka. Sishiya imibono yethu kubo. Sishiya ingane yethu nomzimba nomphefumulo okhuliswe kahle, noma sishiya lowo mntwana enomphefumulo onenxeba nenhliziyo elimele. Ukukhetha, kunjalo, eyethu....

Umshado Omsulwa

….Lapho Ukuzijwayeza Kwenza Kuphelele

Isihloko esivela-AmaSulumane – elethwe kuwe yi-Pure Matrimony- www.purematrimony.com - Inkonzo Yomshado Enkulu Kunayo Yonke Emhlabeni Yokwenza AmaSulumane.

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